Childcare… woof. Finding the right daycare is a tricky undertaking for any parent. There’s a lot to consider: is the daycare close to home? Is it within budget? What are their hours, and exactly how intense is their peanut allergy protocol? On top of everything, queer families have the added concern of ensuring the daycare we choose will be a safe, supportive, and accepting space for our kids. It's not always easy to tell if a daycare will be able to meet our unique needs.
Any childcare staff can pop out before the parents’ tour and buy a copy of “And Tango Makes Three” but it's important to know whether their commitment to inclusion goes beyond the token gesture. To help navigate this sometimes stressful process, here are some tips to guide you towards a gaddy-approved daycare that feels like a fit.
Ask Away
It may seem obvious, but questions are your #1 tool when determining if a daycare can meet your needs, so don’t hold back! Feel empowered to ask if the staff has received inclusivity training, if they’re committed to representing diverse family structures, and how they speak to the kids about families that look different from their own. It’s also nice to know if the daycare is currently home to other LGBTQ+ families and how they handle things like Mother's Day and Father's Day. Even if the staff doesn’t dazzle you with every answer, you’ll be able to discern a lot just from how comfortable they seem with discussing these topics.
Observe the Environment
Before the tour even begins, check out the language on any forms you are given–do they use “Mom” and “Dad” or more inclusive, non-gendered terms like “Parent 1” and “Parent 2”? Once you enter the space where your kid will spend their time, really take in the details. What kind of decorations, books, and toys are on display? Are they diverse and representative of a range of people and families, or are things pretty traditional and gender-normative? Of course, we can’t judge an entire book by its cover, but we can certainly learn a few things by reading between the lines.
Go With Your Gut
Above all, trust yourself. You are the authority on what works best for your family. If a daycare gives you reason to doubt their ability to provide a loving, affirming space for your child, trust that instinct. If a daycare isn’t perfect, but seems open to making changes, maybe that works for you. And maybe it doesn’t. Although it may sometimes feel like an uphill battle, it's okay to keep searching until you find a daycare that can meet you where you’re at.
While it can feel daunting, finding a daycare that makes your family feel at home is possible. You and your kids deserve it! Are there any signs you’ve encountered that a daycare is good for the gays? Join the conversation by sharing your tips and stories in the comments below.
