Back-to-school season can be a lot, especially when you're a queer parent wondering how to make sure your child is supported, seen, and safe. Should you email your kid’s teacher ahead of time? What’s the right way to talk about your family structure? How do you advocate for your child without going in “guns blazing”?
Gaddies spoke with three gay dad educators about how families can feel supported from Day 1. Their advice?
1️⃣ Start with clarity and connection
2️⃣ Know where to go (and when)
3️⃣ Model visibility and partnership
"The same way you’d tell a teacher your child has a peanut allergy, you can also say, ‘My kid has two dads. Here’s how we refer to ourselves at home.’"
1. Start with clarity and connection
Do: Share your family structure and important details before school starts in an email.
Say: "Hi, I'm Dad Mike, my husband is Papa Chris. Our family also includes Shannon, our kid's mom."
Skip: Waiting until there's an issue to introduce your family or clarify language.
2. Know where to go (and when)
Do: Bring classroom concerns to the teacher first, then escalate to school administration if needed.
Say: "I'd like to ensure the school forms reflect all family types. Should I start with you or the principal?"
Skip: Firing off a "keyboard warrior" email to admin before giving the teacher a change to respond.
3. Model visibility and partnership
Do: Show up and normalize family diversity. Introduce yourself to teachers and office staff.
Say: I'd love to come in and read a book that celebrates families in all forms."
Skip: Assuming the school or classroom isn't a safe space for your child and family.
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